Are you struggling in your personal relationships? With a parent, sibling or a child? With a partner or a friend? With a work colleague? Is someone important to you causing you unhappiness?
Relationships are one of the great sources of both happiness and unhappiness in our lives. Trying to understand the root of the misery we sometimes feel can be confusing. Often we are engaged in reciprocal roles with another which we can not see for ourselves. We may find ourselves sabotaging our relationships when intimacy becomes too much. Or pushing others away in order to test their commitment to us. We may engage in passive aggressive behaviour, imagining the other is able to understand our hidden communication. Often therapy can help to shine a light on the situation, creating a breathing space and a safe place to work through the issues involved.
Often the fights we have with others have a familiar ring to them. We may even be able to see what it is within us that causes the pain but not know what to do about it or be too ashamed or proud to discuss it. Or perhaps repetitive cycles of entrenchment and bitterness lead to anger and dependency with our partners.
Therapy can help identify and address the core concerns and causes to unhappy relationships. One goal of the therapy is to move you from these holding patterns into real dialogues that address your true needs, hopes, wishes and dreams. This may call for courage, patience, and honesty. Most suffering is both an expression of inner conflict and a desire to grow through it. Understanding what we are really trying to say and what we really need is the foundation of relationship therapy. Sometimes people need help with endings. Sometimes with new beginnings. It may not be easy but it is better than suffering. So if you need help with a relationship issue, a divorce, a new marriage, temptation or loss, get in touch and we can begin to make a change to how you feel today.
Chances are the last time you clashed with your partner, the argument had a painfully familiar ring to it. The facts may differ, the intensity may vary, but the basic issues stay the same – the positions infuriatingly entrenched. Even the misery that comes after the fight has a recycled feel to it. “We’re stuck,” many couples tell me. “We never get anywhere – even when we really try to sit down and talk about our problems.” Sadly enough, it’s true. Meaningful dialogue has stopped as each party continues to play a role in a stand-off that destroys confidence in problem-solving abilities as well as the relationship.